Why Casual Relationships Can Backfire on Men


Often in our mundane life, we come across or hear about couples who are experiencing casual relationships or prefer calling themselves 'Friends with Benefits'. When asked about their relationship, such couples often tend to give logic that they are 'matured adults'. Or have a fair bit of understanding of the situation and seem to have 'no strings attached'. It seems to them as a perfect setup where the people involved like each other there are no liabilities or responsibilities of a serious committed relationship.

However, in reality, the concept of casual relationships may be viable when there is a great deal of compatibility in the maturity of the two people involved. But that does not in any way suggest that the set up is devoid of any shortcomings and may land the people involved in serious trouble. This may be so because within such a 'casual' relationship, each person thinks that the other person will handle his or her actions as justified as they share similar 'mental make ups'. So eventually after working out perfect, the arrangement seems to show signs of backfire since attachments and expectations start to develop. Particularly for men, it turns out to be bitter for a number of reasons.

Higher chance of growing attachment:

In a recent survey done by behavioural scientists of the online medical firm DrEd. It has been found that men have a higher probability of exhibiting attachment (52%) than women (44%) in friends with benefits. Thus a clear indication can be derived that men have a higher chance of running into trouble if this attachment is not addressed by his partner and a situation of mistrust seeps in hence.

Constant pressure of sounding clingy:

Normally, men try to stay cool and act matured in a casual relationship. However, after a point of time, it is quite natural that this apparent cool behaviour will be taken over by a sense of bonding and that is when men try not to sound clingy and be ultra cautious of their behaviour. This in turn generates a sense of low confidence which is a big turn off for women.

Clash of Priorities:

At a point of time, the priorities that the partners have in a casual relationship may tend to be conflictual and often over ride one another. In other words, the main objective conditions of the two individuals for signing up to such a set up change over time. So, a sense of rejection may arise from either side or from both sides and lead to an abrupt halt to the arrangement.

Wrong judgement of desires:

A crucial factor in a casual relationship is to identify and address the basic wants and desires of the individuals involved i.e. what they actually want and expect out of each other. Often these are loosely defined and thus lead to problems and tensions. So one must know what his or her partner wants and more precisely what he wants out of the arrangement.